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Subject:Meme time
Time:07:48 pm
Ganked from a random journal:

Everyone, friends and those merely passing through, recommend to me:

1. A movie
2. A book
3. A song
4. An LJ user (or community) not already on my friends list
5. Something I should learn to do
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Time:09:15 pm
I know you guys all love Firefly, so if you haven't seen this yet, I recommend taking a look.



Also: Germans stole a whole forest.
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Time:04:08 pm
It's okay, Little Timmy, there's no monsters under the bed. Just a pedophile. Sleep tight.
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Time:03:06 am
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Time:10:10 pm
You never realize just how much things mean to you until they are gone.

COME BACK TO ME AWFUL FORUMS
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Time:04:21 am
Here's a few of the torture methods that our government has given the OK to use on prisoners. People should know about this.
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Time:09:28 pm
It's pretty well-known that I have a very broad taste in music. What I don't usually tell people though, for fear of giving the wrong impression, is that I also like country music. This gives people the wrong impression because country music is generally associated with the stuff they play on CMT; however, CMT does not actually play country music. Johnny Cash, Hank Williams and Merle Haggard played country music. So do Emmylou Harris and Willie Nelson. Garth Brooks, Toby Kieth and Billybob McRedneck do not.

Neither do Montgomery Gentry, of whose existence I have just had the terrible, terrible displeasure of learning.

For those of you without the constitution required to suffer through that video, allow me to summarize its contents. The video opens with the Gentry half of Montgomery Gentry driving his two children in a giant SUV with a deer strapped to the hood. Now, any real hunter would know that you strap the deer to the bumper, not the hood, because the heat from the engine would cook it. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, though, and instead of calling him a hypocrite I'll just assume he was hungry.

Mr. Gentry slows his truck down as he passes an outdoor cafe, where respectable people at a table look in disgust at the redneck driving the half-roasted deer through the middle of the city, and he gives a good-ol-boy smile to his kids in the back as Montgomery, the chunkier half of the duo, sings the charmingly ignorant line "I won't trade in my my family's safety just to save a little gas" while doing some of the most forced, ridiculous white boy posturing I've ever seen.

Next up, as Gentry drives through a peace rally, Montgomery sings "You can bet I'll pick up the phone if Uncle Sam calls me up" and then the song's refrain, "You do your thing, I'll do mine."

Interestingly enough, the next scene has Mr. Gentry spying a drug dealer on the street. Gentry stops the car, gets out, and in front of his small children pulls out a baseball bat and attempts assault with a deadly weapon on the dealer. Way to let him do his own thing, buddy. I take back the part about not calling your inbred ass a hypocrite. During this part, Montgomery sings "I ain't gonna spare the rod, 'cause that ain't what my daddy did." Obvious jokes aside, I guess maybe he's just angry because of how much "rod" his daddy had to spare. Oops, I guess that was the obvious one. Sorry, couldn't resist. Anyway, maybe the violent beating of a teenager on the street is just meant to inspire some 'tough love' type values in the kids. You know, put the fear of God in them, that sort of thing. I only drink and beat Mommy because you cry, Jimmy.

That's the gist of it, anyway. Call me a commie faggot, but if they're so big on the war and answering the phone when Uncle Sam calls, why the fuck haven't they enlisted? Surely it's not because they're not the macho self-reliant men they claim to be... (Protip: they go on tour with a tour bus stock full of tooth-whitener and, I shit you not, a professional manicurist.)

The last lines of the song proudly proclaim "You ain’t gonna judge me, ’cause my judge will judge us all one day". Actually, I have it on good authority that a member of the United States Judicial System will be the one to judge Mr. Gentry. See, it turns out that a couple years ago Gentry bought a tame black bear named Cubby. What did he do with cute little Cubby, you ask? Well, he put Cubby in a cage. Then he bought himself a bow and arrow and shot Cubby until Cubby died. Also, he taped it. Then, he doctored the tape to make it look like it happened in the wild, tagged Cubby with a fraudulent hunting liscence, and registered her with the Department of Natural Resources as a wild kill. Wow, good job there, man's man. I'm sure that during your "no more than five years" you'll meet plenty of nice men who'll spare you all the rod you can handle.
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Time:01:32 am
testing new feature


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Time:04:06 am
Hahahahaha.
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Time:12:11 am
Some people piss me off.
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[icon] The Pun is Mightier than the Sword
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